Coming to a new country can be a challenging experience, especially for teenagers, as they must adapt to a completely new environment during a critical phase of their lives. When they have significant difficulty adjusting, this is referred to as “expat child syndrome,” which particularly affects children aged 10 to 15. In this article, you’ll find warning signs indicating that a child might not be coping well with the change, as well as advice for concerned parents.

How moving abroad affects teens

Discovering a new country, learning to appreciate different cultures, and accepting differences… For a young person, the experience of living abroad has undeniable benefits. On the other hand, it presents many challenges, as they must adjust, make new friends, reorganize their leisure activities, familiarize themselves with what the new place has to offer, and adapt to a new school environment. In most cases, young people manage to cope with these challenges over time. But some young people find it almost impossible to feel comfortable in their new country.

Adolescence – a unique period

Adolescence, especially puberty, is a time when childhood is left behind. This is evident even at the brain level, where many existing neural connections are pruned during this phase. At the same time, young people undergo significant emotional and physical changes and rely on peers of the same age to help them navigate this transition.

They are forced to redefine their identity, adjust their relationship with their parents, and find their place among their peers. In addition, there is an increased risk of becoming a victim of bullying, and the demands of school are gradually increasing.

Moving to another country can be unsettling, exacerbate feelings of disorientation, and make it difficult to communicate with peers and adults.

Young people struggling to cope with change

Most expat children manage to adapt well to their new situation over time; however, some of them have tremendous difficulty adjusting and suffer from intense emotional stress. This is known as “expat child syndrome.” Various factors contribute to the syndrome.

Children between the ages of 10 and 15 are particularly affected, as they are in the process of developing their own identity, and being a stranger in a completely new place adds another layer of complexity to consider. The syndrome is more pronounced when there is a significant disparity between the old and new environments and when the child has already experienced multiple relocations in the past.

The fact that the parents made the decision to move may be experienced by the young person as a feeling of powerlessness, which adds to the frustration of having lost a familiar and comfortable environment.

Warning signs to pay attention to

What are the signs that your child might be struggling with the change?

• idealizing the past and expressing fears about their current situation
• withdrawal, loneliness, few activities and little social interaction outside the home
• frequent moments of frustration and irritation
• anger, disruptive and/or aggressive behavior
• easily overwhelmed, loss of self-confidence, lack of hope
• declining grades, resistance to school, lack of concentration
• physical symptoms such as stomachaches, headaches, or backaches

Some of these symptoms may be perfectly normal during adolescence. However, if they persist for weeks, it is highly advisable to pay attention to them and talk with the young person, or even seek help from a coach or psychologist who specializes in this age group.

How parents can help their teens

How should expat parents respond when they suspect their child is having a hard time feeling comfortable in their new environment? Although teenagers are seeking independence and their own path, we often underestimate the attention they need, because it is through their parent's support and guidance that they can develop their own identity.

As a parent, you can:

• take an interest in how the teenager is experiencing the situation by listening to them without judging them or giving them advice.
• encourage them to reach out and try new activities without putting pressure on them.
• pay attention to the needs expressed by the teenager and offer support if they want it, for example, to learn the new language or find peers with similar interests.
• accept emotions and focus on the child’s values, strengths, and successes.
• encourage a healthy balance between old friends and new ones in the new place.
• maintain and celebrate traditions that connect to past experiences elsewhere, and add new ones that highlight the benefits of the new place – for example, going out for Swiss fondue every now and then. 😉

Getting help from professionals

Moving to Switzerland can be beneficial for teenagers, but it also carries risks. As parents, it’s important to pay close attention to your teenagers’ behavior and what they say, and to be attentive to their needs. If you notice any concerning signs, you can reach out to specialists, such as coaches and psychologists specialized in supporting teenagers.

These specialist can help teenagers to overcome their difficulties. A trusting, equals-to-equals relationship is essential, one in which the young person is at the center and decides what issues they want to address. The spcialist’s role is to support them without telling them what to do, trusting that the teen will find the solution that works best for them, taking into account their personality and potential.

You find additional information about our adolescent coaching in Geneva on the following page:

• Student coaching
  
  

This article was first published in French in March 2022 and has now been translated into English by the author himself.

Author of the article: Beát Edelmann, expert in neurodiversity (autism, ADHD and high IQ) and personality exploration. He is the founder of the Abundana Institute for Self-Management in Geneva, which offers coaching, training, and consulting services in French, English, and German.