Raising children is exciting and rewarding – but it can also be stressful! I’ve experienced this firsthand as a father myself. Parents face many sources of stress, not only within the family but also outside of it.

Being a parent

Everything is fine when your children are well-behaved, supportive, and act responsibly. But there are plenty of other times… They’re in a bad mood, want things they can’t get, aren’t feeling well, or are even sick. There are many situations that are stressful for you as a parent. Plus, you don’t always know what to expect. One day, everything goes smoothly, and the next, your child is having a tantrum for no apparent reason.

You get advice from all over, from friends, parents, books, and online. You realize that it’s not easy to figure out the best way to raise your child. On top of that, you have to remember that every child is unique. What suits one child might drive another crazy. Nor should we forget that there are children with special needs, such as those with autism or ADHD, who can really get on their parents' nerves sometimes. At the same time, people around you want to hold you responsible for behavior that your child has little control over – and you even less.

Stress at work

People say you can find fulfillment in your career, but unfortunately, that’s not the case for everyone. Even if your job enriches and satisfies you, it still wears you out. Professional demands keep increasing. On top of your daily work, you’re expected to keep your skills up to date through continuing education. It is no surprise that the number of people experiencing burnout is rising.

Balancing work and family life adds even more pressure. Dropping off and picking up the kids from daycare, planning and preparing meals, managing doctor’s appointments, keeping the house clean… All these responsibilities are a major source of parental stress.

Your Personal Needs

You probably want a fulfilling relationship and to spend time alone with your partner, which can be difficult when other demands severely limit your free time. In addition, there are surely activities you’d like to do more often, such as exercising, doing yoga, or meeting up with friends. Or maybe you just want some time to yourself now and then.

All of this is difficult when you’re constantly pulled in every direction, leaving you little time to catch your breath and take care of yourself.

Parental exhaustion

All these factors take up your time and drain your energy. You’re stressed, and when you think about your stress levels, it makes you feel even worse, because you know how chronic stress increases the risk of health problems. In fact, increased stress can lead to a loss of control over your emotions and, as a result, cause you to react inappropriately toward your children.

Constant exhaustion can lead to parental burnout. First, the affected parent feels physically and emotionally drained: they feel exhausted, at the end of their rope, and everything seems like an insurmountable task. Then, they become less interested in their children, find it hard to enjoy spending time with them, and struggle to show them that they love them. Finally, they feel like they’re not a good parent.

How can you avoid burnout?

If you’re trying to meet the needs of other people, especially your own children, you must first take good care of yourself. It’s no coincidence that, on airplanes, they insist that you put on your own oxygen mask before helping your child. When you’re suffocating, you can’t help others.

In the early 1990s at the University of Zurich, two psychologists, Dr. Maja Storch and Dr. Frank Krause, developed a self-management program to prevent teacher burnout and named it ZRM® (Zurich Resource Model). They soon realized that their method could help a wider audience avoid burnout and better manage personal and external expectations. Since the 1990s, they have trained large numbers of people in German-speaking regions in their approach.

Manage your energy better with ZRM^®

Since 2022, the Abundana Institute has been offering regular self-management workshops based on ZRM in Geneva – for parents and anyone who wants to better cope with their daily challenges. Come discover our self-management workshops!

• Our Training Programs (only in French so far)

If you do not wish to wait for the next workshop, our self-management coaching will give you the tools you need to better handle your everyday challenges.

• Self-management coaching
  
  

This article was first published in French in April 2023 and has now been translated into English by the author himself.

Author of the article: Beát Edelmann, expert in neurodiversity (autism, ADHD and high IQ) and personality exploration. He is the founder of the Abundana Institute for Self-Management in Geneva, which offers coaching, training, and consulting services in French, English, and German.

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